


Invisible

by hips_of_steel



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, End of the Cold War, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-12 00:29:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5647309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hips_of_steel/pseuds/hips_of_steel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one had ever seen him. He knew he was a nation, but no matter how hard he tried, their eyes were unable to find him.<br/>Until Russia saw him.<br/>Russia could see him!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One: You Can See Me?

_Maybe I was born without a body._

Matthew Williams sat and pondered this question as he had every day for the past three centuries.

No one could see him, other than Kumayoshi-no, Kumakichi, _no_ , Kumajirou! No one. Even the people of his land had a hard time seeing him, even his own bosses. He just disappeared into the background. Sometimes he woke up afraid that he would be unable to see his shadow in the mirror, just the reflection of his apartment around him. He was not a normal human. He had learned that long ago. And there were others like him. Others who were… not quite _normal_.

But not even they could see him.

Yet he constantly found himself needing their presence, and so he found himself in Alfred’s home.

Alfred lived to the south of him, in a city called Washington DC. It was warm, even during the winter, compared to Matthew’s home in Ottawa. But why Matthew found himself here was more than those two reasons.

The two of them looked incredibly similar, so much that Matthew almost had to wonder if they were brothers. They had the same color of hair, a beautiful mix between wheat and honey. Their height was identical, and their strength was also identical. Matthew could drag an old Rolls-Royce around like it was nobody’s business. Alfred’s eyes were a light blue like the sky on a warm summer’s day, while Matthew’s were a dark blue, like the night sky of the tundra.

Yet, they were also incredibly different. Alfred was loud and boisterous, and everywhere he went, he was the center of attention, often forcing the others to make him such. He had many enemies, but he also had many friends who seemed to have a begrudging affection for the man. Matthew meanwhile, was invisible.

Matthew was unsure why he had chosen Alfred out of all the others, but perhaps it was that attitude of his, or how he managed to make himself be seen, instead of being ignored. Or just because he lived nearby. Whether he hoped to simply have company or prayed for this visibility to rub off on him, Matthew couldn’t say. Alfred did chase away some of the loneliness that haunted him day and night.

Yet, it never felt right.

Perhaps this was why, when Matthew overheard Alfred mentioning a World Conference in Europe, he decided to sneak aboard the plane. It wasn’t like Alfred could see him (except for when he picked up something. _Note to self_ : When invisible in Alfred’s house, do not eat cereal late at night while walking around. He will assume you are a ghost and either scream or run at you with a baseball bat, depending on his mood).

Matthew packed his bag, which contained only a toothbrush, hairbrush, and spare change of clothes. He had learned to travel light years ago, when he had lost almost everything in a fire in York.

Kuma...thingy stayed at home, content with a gift of fish to placate him. He would survive. He could hunt, and Matthew made sure to leave him in some sort of reserve whenever he left his country for long periods of time.

He went back to the US, and returned to Alfred’s home, waiting for the other nation to depart.

 

He woke up in the morning when he heard Alfred coming down the stairs, yawning. Matthew sat up and sighed, rubbing his face as he sat up on the couch. He’d have to try and pinch a granola bar from the cupboard before the car arrived. He had thought he'd wake up before Alfred, but not today, apparently.

He waited until Al had grabbed his food, and snuck what he could out of the pantry before the door shut. Two granola bars, a tiny bag of trail mix, and a piece of jerky. He'd have to get some water at some point. After that, he waited in silence while Alfred woke up.

Several people came into the house, handing Alfred papers and notes. He read them in silence. Despite his usually loud and boisterous nature, he examined each note carefully.

Finally, a car honked its horn, and Matthew hurried out the door before Al had grabbed his bag. He slid into the far seat when the driver opened the door and buckled himself in while Al was setting down his bags.

Once Al was in the car, the driver spoke. "Where's the meeting taking place this year, Mr. Jones?"

"Germany." Alfred responded, sorting papers. "Pretty sure they elected to have it there as a silent 'fuck you' to that commie bastard."

Despite never having seen the man, Matthew knew that particular nickname. There were only a few times Al had ever said it with any respect, at that was always when tensions were running high, such as the Cuban Missile Crisis, or after MAD had been put into effect.

_The USSR._

He had never seen the nation that's name brought about such terror in the eyes of Alfred, as well as a strangely passionate anger.

“Well, I hope that the flight is safe. I hear Berlin is still struggling to reintegrate after all that happened…”

“Nick, I understand your interest, but I'd rather not talk about it. I have to be calm.”

“Sorry, sir.”

Alfred finished sorting the papers and put them into his briefcase, and then looked out the window as they drove through DC. Matthew wondered why his brother seemed so stressed.

They arrived at the airport and Matthew hurried out of the car, dashing towards the plane. Once Alfred was onboard, it would be too late to get in.

He made it, panting as he set his bag down and settling into a seat. Alfred got onboard and nodded to the pilot. “Are we ready to go?” He asked as the door was sealed shut.

“Just waiting for final approval from ATC.”

“Good.” Alfred collapsed into a seat, sighing. “Gotta deal with that dick without punching him in the face.”

Matthew said nothing, waiting for takeoff.

 

The turbulence they experienced over the Atlantic Ocean woke both of them up. Matthew took a few deep breaths, but soon was calm.

Alfred was a different story, his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of his seat, noticeable hyperventilating, and a panicky glance around the cabin every few seconds.

Matthew was used to turbulence. It wasn't easy flying in the northern skies of his home country, and the dropping feeling was common. It was Alfred's panicking features that made it impossible to fall back asleep. He tried as he might, but the sharp yelp every time they dropped made Matthew wish he had duct tape.

 

They landed at night, and Matthew grabbed his bag, following Alfred to a waiting car.

“Mr. Jones. Mr. Beilschmidt would like to speak with you in the morning, and Mr. Kirkland has arranged a meeting at lunch with the representatives from NATO nations.” The man said as they crawled into the car, trying to stifle a yawn.

“Good. What time is it here?” Alfred said, looking at his watch.

Once watches were set, they drove to the hotel.

Matthew was glad that the hotels almost always had double beds. He crashed onto one of them immediately, and waited for Alfred to finish washing his face before heading towards the bathroom himself.

As he reentered the room, Alfred had turned on the TV, and was trying to find a single English language channel. Matthew shrugged. Not likely that much had happened in the last few hours. He settled down on the bed and was almost asleep when there was a knock on the door.

Alfred stood up. “Probably the room service already…” He muttered to himself.

Matthew sat up. If it was, he might be able to steal some food while Al wasn't paying attention. But when Alfred opened the door, he swore, and tried to shut it again. However, an arm had forced its way into the crack, and shoved the door open.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Al snarled at the figure. Matthew saw light colored hair, almost silver in the light, and pale purple eyes.

“Look, I know it's late, but I wanted to tell you…” The man began, seeming apologetic for some unknown slight.

“I told you last year, Ivan. I'm not yours anymore. It’s over. I'm tired of playing this game with you. Dancing around each other, because you didn't want to _ruin_ what we had. I'm sick of feeling the way I did with you, when I wasn’t sure if you were going to say you loved me or punch me in the face. So get out of my room, go back to your satellite Nations, and spend the night with Natalia or Toris or someone else!"

“Fredka…”

“Are you drunk?! Get out before I call security.”

The man looked into the room, and Matthew swore their eyes met, but that couldn't be true. The tall man finally nodded. “Fine. I will see you in two days, Fredka.”

After he stepped out of the room, Alfred slammed the door shut. “Goddamn commie bastard ruins everything.” He muttered, angrily sinking into the bed as he glared daggers at the television screen. Matthew sighed, and crawled under the covers on his own bed. None of the lights were on besides the TV, and Al would probably be too tired to notice him anyways. And if he did, well, Matthew was just glad he was a light sleeper and would hear hear a warning shriek before Al attempted to hit him with anything.

 

The next morning, Matthew followed Alfred through the hotel, wandering around and seeing other Nations that would be attending the conference.

None of them could see him, as usual, though he noticed that England seemed a little on edge when he was nearby. Matthew tested his hypothesis by reaching out and tapping him on the shoulder, which caused England to jump.

"Arthur, you okay?" Al asked. They were just leaving the NATO meeting.

"Yeah, just feel like something's off." The Brit replied before shaking his head as if he were trying to shake something off.

Matthew could tell that if England could see him, he wouldn't want him hanging nearby, so Matthew left to do some exploring on his own. He was bored out of his mind, and he knew he could find Al’s room and get into it on his own, since he’d lifted the second key from the front desk this morning. Besides, if Alfred and Arthur started talking sincerely, Matthew knew it’d be forever before his brother headed back to his room, and he needed the rest.

He was about to head back to the room when he came across a hall that everyone was seeming to avoid. There was a window near the end of it, and he could pick out three people sitting in the seat from the shadows.

He walked down the hallway and stood next to them, listening to their conversations. They spoke in whispers and hurried, and they were always looking over their shoulders like they were afraid of being caught.

"He won't let us talk at the conference, Raivis. He just brought us here to show off how powerful he is. He’s trying to cling to whatever he has left."

"But Eduard..."

"No, Latvia, Estonia's right. We're his servants while we're here. He's even confined us to the hallway. We don’t get to talk. We aren’t independent."

"Yeah, he’s confined us to this hallway, and you're the only one allowed in his room, Lithuania." Estonia replied darkly.

"I think that's more of a way for him to keep Nat and Sof out."

"Yeah, and keep you in." Latvia said, a little angry, and Lithuania flinched, as though he’d been struck by Latvia’s words.

They suddenly went silent at the noise of one of the doors creaking open, but visibly relaxed when they saw it was a tall, large-breasted woman. Matthew could tell just from the way she held herself that she was upset. She crossed the hall, and slammed her fist into the door. "Vanya! Vanya, open up!" She shouted, and her voice was full of venom.

The door swung open, and Ivan glared at the woman. She didn’t seemed fazed by this, however, and continued to speak.

"I will not be confined to this hallway like some disobedient child, Vanya! I raised you!"

Ivan nodded, as though considering her words. "If you wish to take a walk, I will accompany you until you are satisfied and wish to return."

"Nyet! I want to be able to go out on my own, Vanya!" She shouted into his face, infuriated by his offer. It wasn’t what she had asked for, and it was clear to Matthew that they had had this discussion before. Her voice had a rasp to it, as though she was recovering from an illness. He’d heard his boss mention that one of the USSR’s satellites had just begun to recover from a nuclear meltdown.

Ivan stepped out of his room and into the hall, and then turned to the Nations by the window. "And do any of you agree with her?" He asked, his tone suddenly dangerous.

They all shook their heads, dropping their eyes, and avoiding his gaze. The woman seemed to shrink at that, as though her courage was disappearing with the men’s reluctance to aid her. Matthew understood. It had taken all her courage to confront Ivan, and now, when he was refusing, everyone around was agreeing with him.

As Ivan looked over the men once again, Matthew was suddenly shocked when those violet eyes met his.

They stared at each other in shock for a few seconds, and then Ivan turned back to the woman, quickly dismissing his appearance.

"Go back to your room, Sofia. If you wish for me to accompany during a walk, you need only ask." He sounded gentle, like he was trying to calm a frightened animal.

She shook her head, and Matthew could see she wanted to cry with rage, but she kept her head held high until she reached her own room again. The door slammed shut and suddenly Ivan’s face changed from calm to angry.

Matthew walked towards him, but their eyes met again,and this time when he saw Matthew, it wasn't confusion on his face. It was an order.

_Leave now. This is not your concern._

Matthew nodded, almost running from the hall, but he caught a few words of conversation as he rushed away.

"Toris, please come in here."

 

The next morning, the conference finally began. Matthew followed Alfred to the conference room, and then he turned and headed back to the dark hallway. He felt like he should be inside that room, but he also felt like he didn’t belong. Something was wrong with him.

When he heard the sound of boots, he ducked behind a pillar, and saw Ivan walk past, standing tall. Once he had entered the conference room, Canada ran.

When he arrived, he found the three men again, but this time Lithuania seemed to be injured, hissing in pain whenever one of the others brushed up against him, though they were obviously trying to be very gentle as they bandaged his arms.

"Sorry about yesterday, Toris. It's been awhile since it's been this bad." Estonia stated with sympathy.

"I think he knows that it's all about to collapse. He can sense we want to get away. Even Natalia doesn't love him enough to be happy about being confined here." Toris said, wincing as Latvia ran a wet washcloth over a nasty scratch.

Matthew approached, and then he saw the bruises covering Lithuania’s arms. Scratches under the collar of his shirt. He held back a gasp.

"We really need to treat all the scratches, Toris, and then you need to sleep." Estonia began.

"Not yet, Eduard. If I don't clean his room first, we're all dead."

They sighed, and let him go. Matthew watched him limp into the room. Those injuries were worse than he’d thought upon his first glance, and he wondered why he was doing this.

The second Toris opened the door, Matthew bolted inside. He watched Toris go into the bathroom to clean. While he was there, Matthew made the beds, silent and invisible. He didn’t need the poor man working himself to death, and besides, he did this all the time at Alfred’s house.

Toris came out and stared at the beds, already made. "I could have sworn..."

He paused, and then grabbed the trash. He put a new liner in the can, and then nodded.

"I guess that's it." He said, with relief in his voice. And with that, he left.

Matthew laid down on the second bed and waited for the man who could see him.

 

Ivan wasn't exactly happy when he came back at lunch, but he wasn't angry. That was good enough for the Baltic nations.

He brought them a fairly decent lunch, and they all ate by the window, Ivan and Sofia filling the seat with Natalia standing next to them, talking. He was being especially nice to them today, and Lithuania knew why. There were rumors that they were planning to go, whether or not Ivan allowed it. Ivan was trying to convince them to stay.

Later, he took his sisters for an escorted walk, to examine the gardens at the conference center. When they came back. Natalia looked almost happy, but Sofia just looked thoughtful, and not in a way that made Russia happy.

Toris wondered if he'd hear a knock at the door in his hotel room he and the other Baltics were sharing that night, but it never came. Finally, he breathed a sigh of relief and settled down to sleep. It had been a while since he’d been able to sleep like this, and he hoped he could enjoy it.

 

Ivan entered his room at nightfall and saw the strange man sitting on the second bed, looking right at him. He considered murdering him on the spot, but perhaps he was an American agent. If that was the case, he would happily capture the fool. He’d heard rumors some of the states had their own personalities and personifications.

He growled. "Убирайся!" _Go away!_

"You can see me?" The man asked, sounding almost strangely giddy.

"Of course, I’m not blind. You are an annoying Nation, wherever you are from. Leave me to my thoughts or else you will wish you had, especially if you are American!”

"No, please don't send me away!” The man begged. “I know you hurt Lithuania badly, but please, no one has ever been able to see me before!"

Ivan paused, and then tilted his head, looking over the man in front of him. The concern was evident in this Nation's voice, and as Ivan continued to study him, he realized he didn't know this man, though he did look an awful lot like one he did know.

"What is your Nation?" He finally asked, arms crossed, still ready to throw him out at any moment.

"Cana- Cada. Damn it. Ca-na-da." The man finally stated.

"You are Canada?" Ivan asked, eyebrow raised. Everyone knew that that nation had no personification. It was one of the reasons England had managed to keep it as part of the Commonwealth so long.

"Yeah, I am.” The man stated. The sound of his voice was partially a challenge, as though he dared Russia to question him, but the other sounded more like a child who desperately wanted their parents to believe they were telling the truth.

"Why has no one ever seen you before?" Ivan asked, still on guard.

"I don't know. Not even my brother can see me." The man said, looking at his own hands, almost confused, as though waiting for them to disappear.

"Alfred?" Ivan asked cautiously.

" _Oui!_ You know him well?" The boy asked, suddenly smiling.

Ivan shrugs. "I know him well enough. So you were the man in his hotel room the other day?"

"Yes, though he didn't know I was there. Don't tell him, please. It would be very awkward." The man said, looking a little worried. Russia wondered why he worried. Alfred would just assume either that Ivan was playing a horrible prank on him or that he had bugged the room, and why would Russia want to make him worry about _that_?

Ivan sat down on the edge of his bed, and watched the young man for a long time, and the man met his gaze. Occasionally he would glance at the door, and then turn back to face Ivan, as if he hadn’t decided on a plan of action past this point. But he didn’t seem afraid of Ivan himself. He seemed more afraid of something else entirely.

Rejection.

"You may stay here if you like." Ivan finally spoke, wondering if his weak government was addling his brain.

"Really?" The young Nation’s entire body straightened, and he looked excited.

"Yes, but you must keep quiet when others come to speak to me. Even if I am the only one who can see you, I cannot listen to you every moment of the day.” He said, rubbing at his head, hoping this wasn’t a horrible mistake.

“I understand that.” The boy said calmly.

“Also, I wish to see proof."

"Proof?" Canada said, suddenly confused.

"That I am the only one who can see you. Go to the Conference tomorrow with me. Do something to one of the other Nations. Dance on the table. Anything. If no one reacts, I will know you are telling the truth."

"Why would I lie?"

Ivan wondered how innocent this nation must be. "If you don't know why, I'd rather not tell you."

"Okay."

Ivan paused before speaking. "Do you have any extra clothes with you? You look like you've encountered a lot of dirt recently.”

Matthew shrugged, and Ivan saw he was suddenly uncomfortable, looking at the carpet like it might provide an answer for him.

Ivan sighed, searching through his bag, and pulled out a sweater. "Take that. It's all I have to spare at the moment."

The boy grabbed the sweater and headed to the bathroom. Ivan heard the shower running, and then eventually Canada emerged, his face and body clean, though his pants still look like they've been drug to hell and back.

He headed into the bathroom to find a just washed sweater dripping into the bathtub, clean for the most part. He was surprised that the man had hand washed it. He had expected to find him trying to hang it up so that the cleaning charges would be added to his bill.

"Are you hungry?" He asked after he’d inspected the bathroom and realized his own stomach was beginning to speak to him. Even as a declining superpower, he still had the hunger of one.

"Yeah." The boy answered.

Ivan paused. "What is your human name?"

"Matthew." He replied after a moment, as though he himself had almost forgotten it.

"I will go get us some food then, Matvey." Ivan said, picking up the small phone on the desk and, plugging in his phone card infomation, proceeded to order food in what sounded like German.

Matthew paused at the nickname, and then decided that he liked it. No one had ever called him anything other than Matt or Matthew before. Matvey was... nice.

 

Ivan returned with a bowl of borscht for himself, and some French food for Matvey. He wasn't sure if Matvey would like any food from his country. He knew Alfred didn't. He’d always objected to anything Ivan made him.

He opened the door to find Matthew flipping through a book. "Where'd you get that?" He asked, looking around.

"It was on the bed earlier. I hope you don't mind. I kept your bookmark in place."

Ivan shrugged after having taken a few calming breaths, and then offered him the meal. "It's French. I knew that there's some history between you and France, so I thought you'd be more familiar with this kind of food."

"Thanks. I eat almost anything though, as long as it's not rotten, so you don't have to worry about that next time." He said, and then Ivan watched him dig in, almost like he was half-starved. “But I really do like French food as well, so thank you.”

Ivan paused before asking. "How long since you ate anything?"

"I managed to sneak away one of Al's order of fries last night." Matvey said.

"And before that?" Ivan pressed.

"Cereal, right before we left Washington DC. And some food I snuck onto the plane."

Ivan sighed and handed him the borscht. "Here, take it. I will order in some more food."

Matthew shook his head. "I'm used to living like this. It's okay. I'll be fine." He pushed the borscht back towards Ivan, who was already reaching towards the phone.

"You can either eat it voluntarily, or I'll shove it down your throat." Ivan responded, picking up the phone and dialing room service.

Matthew looked at Ivan, silent, and then Ivan turned to look at him, and then looked down at the soup. He looked back up, frowning, and mouthed the word _Eat_.

Matthew took the soup and ate.

 

The next day was a very interesting one at the conference, Russia had to admit.

Ivan watched Canada as they entered, and the young man waited in a far corner. Once everyone was seated, the mischief began.

First he switched America's coffee for England's tea, leaving them both very confused and angry the next time they reached for their drinks. It had been hilarious to see Arthur nearly gag and Al try not to spit out the Earl Grey.

Next, he tied the long curly hairs of Lovino and Feliciano together, resulting in several cries of pain, and Germany having to swiftly intervene and untie them before Lovino killed someone (probably Germany since he swore he was fine while they were untangled, though Spain was also a likely candidate due to proximity).

He swapped Nation's note folders when they weren't looking, and several angry Nations started yelling at each other.

Finally, right as Germany announced a break (because everyone was pissed off now), Matthew even got up on the table and twirled a few times, until he was right in front of Russia. He looked down with a grin. “That was fun.”

Ivan nodded, trying to hide the smile on his face, and as the Canadian stepped off the table, he had to admit, this was proof.

 

During the break, England noticed that Ivan was in a strangely good mood for a man whose satellite nations were most likely planning to break away while the conference was happening. He seemed to be laughing as though this was all some funny joke.

He wanted to ask him about his mood, but decided that, one, he didn’t want to know, and two, he'd better try to wash the taste of that coffee out of his mouth again.


	2. Part Two: Growing Tensions

At the end of the conference, Ivan invited Matthew to come stay with him in the USSR, and Matthew agreed without a second thought, thought that was probably a dumb idea. But why should he care? The Russian had been nothing but kind to him so far, and to finally have someone other than Kuma to talk to was kind of amazing.

So here he was on a plane, watching the scenery as they flew over eastern Europe.

Occasionally Ivan would look at one of his sisters and ask where they were, though Matthew was fairly sure that was 100% for his benefit. Ukraine seemed to always know exactly what each location was, as well as the history of the land.

Once they landed in Russia, he could tell everyone was suddenly anxious. He supposed that the satellite nations all wished they were back in the air, where Ivan seemed a little uneasy unless his nose was buried in a book.

 _But at least he doesn’t panic like Al when they hit turbulence._ He thought to himself.

There was a brief drive from the small private airfield, and then they were there. Matthew stared up at the house in amazement. It was huge, several stories high, he guessed.

" _Enough room for all the Nations._ " Ivan whispered very quickly to Matthew before taking his bags and slinging them over his shoulder.

"Wow." Matthew said, unbelieving. Sure, some Nations had large houses, but this...

This was a castle.

He watched the five satellite nations split up as they walked into the house. Ukraine and Lithuania headed towards the kitchen, Ivan informed him. The other two Baltics and Belarus were headed to their rooms.

"I will show you to your room for now, da?"

Matthew nodded, following him closely. It would be easy to get lost in a place like this.

"I didn't build a room for you, because I didn't know you existed. But I built your brother a very nice room, and you may have it," Ivan stated after they’d gotten out of the earshot of all the others.

“Thank you.” He said, though he was a little confused.

As they walked down the halls, he saw each room had a Nation's name on the door in their native languages. Matthew guessed Ivan took the phrase "All will become one with Russia" pretty seriously.

Ivan showed him to a room on the top floor, and Matthew was surprised to see that it was right across the hall from Ivan's.

In big letters, in plain English, it read

_The United States of America_

_Alfred F. Jones_

Matthew wasn't sure if that was sweet or scary.

Across the hall in Russian, it read.

_CCCP_

_Иван_

That was strangely simple compared to the rest of the house.

When Matthew opened the door to Alfred’s room, he was surprised by the inside.

He saw a painting of an eagle by the bed, and a map of the US framed on the wall. There were several heavy blankets on the bed, and a phone as well. As he continued to look around, his confusion grew.

_I thought Ivan hated Al. I know Al hates him._

Ivan sensed the awkward silence. "All the rooms are like this. I didn't want other countries to forget their lands." He finally stated, in order to break the silence.

"I thought you would want them to forget their lands when they became one with you." Canada said, and quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, as if that could take back the words he had spoke.

"Nyet. I need them to still work, and help me take care of their lands. They can do that better if they remember them, at least a little." Ivan said, barely perturbed by Matthew’s lack of social grace.

Matthew remembered walking past the door that read in Mandarin _China Wang Yao_ and the one that read _Cuba Carlos Machado._

He thought _I shouldn't have come_ to himself.

"Matvey, are you alright?" Ivan asked, suddenly sounding concerned.

"Huh?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Oui, just a little disoriented." He replied, trying to absorb everything around him.

Ivan nodded. "It’s understandable. I will bring you dinner when it is ready. Until then, I suggest you stay here. The house is very large, and until you know it well, I don't recommend exploring it too much. There are dangerous things in Russia."

"Okay."

Ivan left the room, and Matthew investigated the dresser drawers, finding them full of clothes tailored to fit Alfred, from the looks of them.

The shirts fit him just fine, but the pants were a little too big everywhere. Al had muscles that Matt just didn't have.

Ivan came back with dinner to see Canada in his old ragged pants and a new shirt before him. "I think we can do better than that." He stated.

Ivan came back with different sets of pants, until finally Matthew found some that worked. Ivan nodded, and then came back with a huge stack of jeans and dress pants matching the shirts in Alfred's closet.

 _It's almost like wearing uniforms._ Matthew thought, matching items up and putting them back in the closet. And it was. The outfits literally matched. The only difference was the sizes.

"You can stay however long you like." Ivan said, smiling. “Just let me know when you need to leave to take care of your own affairs.”

Matthew nodded, and then smiled right back at Ivan. He guessed that when the Russian was smiling from genuine happiness, it was just infectious.

"Alright. Thank you, Ivan."

Ivan nodded, and then left.

 

Ivan sat in silence in his own room, and wondered why he was doing this.

_He isn't America. He'd probably reject you or be too terrified to do anything._

Ivan sighed. He'd once been very close to America, and they'd kept their relationship a secret. Warm nights in each other's bed, exchanging little smiles when they could. It had been part of the reason why he'd wanted to sell Alaska to him. He could trust Alfred to take care of the small colonies in the massive piece of land that had once been Russian America. When the Civil War had come, and Alfred was laying there in misery, only Russia supported him fully.

But they hadn't been able to speak much since the first of his revolutions, and it had all snapped when Stalin took over.

How many nights, Ivan wondered, had two Nations a world away from each other, cried themselves to sleep?

But even though he would likely fall apart within the next few years, Alfred no longer seemed to hold that sort of affection for him. That, he supposed, was what hurt the most. He'd had to push him away all these years, and now, when soon he wouldn’t have to anymore, Alfred was no longer willing to come back.

Matthew didn't even look the same. Sure, the hair was pretty similar, as well as the shape of their faces but Matthew had big dark violet eyes, not the brilliant sky blue that Fredka had. Where Alfred was loud, and constantly voiced his opinion, Matthew was quiet, and gentle.

_Soft and sweet._

Ivan shook his head, angry at himself. _Matvey is practically a child. And you only want him because he reminds you of Fredka._

Finally he fell asleep, still unsure why he’d allowed the young Nation across the hall from him to fill the empty space in his half-frozen heart.

 

When Matthew woke up, he was more comfortable than he had been in years, and despite Ivan's advice, he began to explore the rooms of the house. He’d made maps for a living for a long time. If anyone was to avoid getting lost in this maze of a house, it would be him.

Alfred was the only non-communist nation who had a room on the top floor. Matthew was curious as to why Al deserved such a big honor. He could see that the rooms up here were much bigger and nicer than the ones further down in the house.

Ukraine and Belarus were the only satellite nations who had their rooms on the top floor as well, he noted.

As he explored, he found that each room did indeed have a map of their home country, and a door sign in their native language. Some had it in two, such as Seychelles, who used a mixture of English and French, like he did.

Then he nearly ran into a small girl.

He recognized her from the flight. Belarus. The Baltics had called her Nat, Sofia simply said "Sister!", and Ivan had called her Natasha. Almost a pet name for the fierce young woman in front of him.

She looked straight through him, and then reached a hand out, waving it as tough to see if anything was there. He took a step back, afraid she might touch him. She terrified him.

_I wonder if Ivan meant her when he said there were dangerous things in Russia._

Finally, she muttered to herself, and then began to walk upstairs. He followed from a very safe distance.

She reached Russia's door and knocked. "Vanya?"

Matthew heard the man groan, and then the door opened a crack. "Natasha, it's very early..."

"Something is in the house. A spirit. Something that shouldn't be here. I wanted to ask if I should try to call the General."

Ivan paused, and then looked out of his room.Matthew was pressed up against the wall, freaking out, and shaking. Ivan looked at him, and then looked back at his sister. "Nyet. The spirit is friendly, but very hard to see. I think it will leave us alone as long as we don't bother it."

She shrugged. "Alright, Vanya. But if it follows me again, it'll get a nasty wake up call." Then she turned and stared at what she perceived as an empty space, but Canada knew she was looking directly at him. Finally she walked away, and once she was out of sight, Matthew ducked into the room, and then hid under the covers on the bed.

 

Ivan brought him some crepes a while later, specially made.

"Don't worry, Matvey. She is just paranoid. She will calm down soon." He said to the trembling figure under the covers.

Matthew stuck his head out from under the huge red, white, and blue blanket. "Are you sure?"

"Da. She is always like this.”

He watched Matvey crawl out from under the covers, and then he took the plate of crepes from Ivan’s hands, and dug into them. He looked healthier than he had at the conference, his face less drawn, though he was still very skinny. Ivan wondered if he'd finished growing, or if he'd have to find the boy more new clothes as he began to fill out.

_How has nobody seen you before? Not even the men who should have raised you remember you._

He kept his thoughts quiet, and then he handed Matthew a new blanket, a red and white one. "This will remind you of your home, da?"

"Yeah. Thanks." He said, and now that he had eaten, he looked almost more exhausted than he had before.

There was a long moment of silence, and then Ivan stood.

"I will be working at my desk in my room. If you want to keep me company, you are welcome."

Ivan left, and began to fill out some paperwork. About half an hour later, he heard the soft footsteps, and saw Matvey stumble in, wrapped in the red and white blanket.

"Maple." He heard the boy say softly, almost like a curse word, when he stubbed his toe.

Then he collapsed into Ivan’s bed, curling up in his own blanket and under Ivan's duvet. Soon he was asleep, and his quiet breathing relaxed Ivan as he worked through the political affairs of his union.

 

The entire day passed, and Matthew didn't twitch once.

Ivan pressed a hand to Matvey's forehead, concerned. There was no fever.

 _Perhaps it is the time difference._ He thought to himself.

Ivan shrugged, but eventually he had to get ready for bed. He thought about carrying Matthew back to his room, but realized that he had no desire to explain why he was moving an invisible spirit into America's room to Natalia or Sofia.

He changed into his warm night sweater, and soft pants, and then put his scarf back on. He'd feel naked without it.

He crawled into bed, and soon he could feel the Canadian snuggling up against him under the duvet, though he was still asleep.

He carefully draped an arm over him, and knew he would soon fall asleep. It was a nice difference from Toris. Toris always faced away from him, and wasn't much of one for cuddling, at least not with Ivan. But Matvey was right there, and he was so warm. He wanted to reach down and kiss him, and nuzzle his face, but that would not have ended well.

Finally Ivan felt himself slip into a restful sleep.

 

Matthew woke up the next morning with his face pressed to Ivan's chest. He paused, wondering what he should do. He didn’t want to wake him, but he also was a little confused as to why he and Ivan were in the same bed at the moment, and a smidge panicked

Then he felt Ivan stirring next to him, also waking up. Matthew looked up and saw Ivan's eyes flutter open. They looked at each other for a few moments, and then Ivan spoke.

"Good morning, Matvey. You have been asleep since noon yesterday, when you came in here and just passed out on my bed. Apologies for not returning you to your own. My younger sister was outside.”

"I was asleep all day and night?" Matthew asked, surprised. Had he really been asleep that long?

"Da. Are you feeling well?" Ivan asked him.

Matthew thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I’m feeling fine. I just wanted to sleep, I guess."

 

As Matthew began to explore more, he learned more about not only the other satellite nations, but more about Ivan himself, just from his silent observations.

The Baltics were just below the top floor, along with several nations that had took steps towards communism over the past few decades.

He quickly guessed that this was Ivan's way of ranking the world according to Communist ideals, though if that were the case, he didn't understand why Al had a room on the top floor. Al was the exact opposite of any sort of Communist utopia.

As he continued down the floors, he came across a room with a door hanging off its hinges. The metal plate was faded and scratched, but Matthew could still read it.

_Ostdeutschland_

_Gilbert Beilschmidt  
_

He looked inside the room. There was a torn map of East Germany, and glass scattered all over the floor from the frame. The mattress had been ripped apart, and the dresser had been set on fire, though it had been kept from spreading to the walls. The blankets were destroyed.

He couldn't understand why Prussia's room was destroyed. Next to Gilbert's room, Ludwig's room was intact, though the map was only of West Germany. It didn’t make sense at the moment.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, and turned to see Ivan next to him, staring at the ruins of the room as well.

"How long have you been watching me?" Matthew asked, startled.

"Since you walked down into this wing." Ivan replied.

Matthew knew he shouldn't ask, but he heard himself say it anyhow. "Why'd you destroy Prussia's room?"

Ivan stood in silence, and then spoke.

"He left for West before the last conference. This was my reaction."

"Would you do this if I left?" Matthew asked, suddenly scared. He hadn't signed an alliance with Russia, and he knew that their political relationships were just as strained as Ivan and Al’s. He was just here because he was lonely, and Ivan was the only person who could talk to him.

There was silence as an answer when he asked this question.

"Ivan?"

More silence.

"Vanya?" Matthew said, leaning against Ivan.

"I don't know what I would do if you left forever. You will have to leave eventually, Matvey. Your own country needs you, and I know that of this moment, they have no wish to join me. Not even my own family wishes to be with me anymore. But if you left forever, I do not know what I would do. I… I would miss you.” He finally responded.

Matthew stood there, leaning up against Ivan, feeling the warmth of the the larger man. He had never had anyone hold him, or take care of him. No one besides Kuma to cuddle up with.

Ivan suddenly pulled him close, and Matthew could feel the shakes of Ivan's body. But when he looked up, there were no tears coming from those violet eyes. Ivan was afraid.

Afraid of losing _him_.

That realization alone made Matthew just as emotional. Someone cared about him enough that they were _afraid of losing him._

He wrapped his arms around Ivan, and they held each other like survivors from a shipwreck until they heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Russia released him, and then turned, standing tall. But Matthew still clung to him, glad for his invisibility.

Latvia came up the stairs. “Mr. Russia, dinner is ready.”

“Thank you, Latvia. You are excused.”

Latvia left, and Russia turned back to Matthew. “I will be right back.”

Matthew nodded, and slowly released Russia, who then headed downstairs to eat dinner and return with some for him.

Matthew sat down in front of Prussia’s door, in shock. Russia had done this.

But Russia cared for him…

Finally he stood up and stumbled back towards his room, unsure what he knew about this man who had finally given him everything he had ever wanted.

 

More time passed, and soon Matthew followed Ivan almost everywhere inside the house, and even sat in the back of the room during some meetings he had with his boss. Ivan didn’t mind. Matthew was quiet, and he always left when asked. They both valued their time together.

Matthew didn’t run away from Ivan everytime he snapped and wanted to destroy something. Most of the time, he was even able to calm Ivan down before it got to that point, just by laying a hand on his arm and looking up at Ivan with eyes that asked him to calm down. Ivan didn’t know why those purple eyes made him calm down, but they did. He felt awful for showing his darker sides to the younger nation.

But when that wasn’t enough, Matthew simply would stand in the back of the room and wait for Ivan to calm himself down.

Ivan kick-boxed when he was angry at his government. He didn’t want to take it out on anyone around him with Matvey nearby, and soon Matthew grew rather fond of it himself, when he started joining Ivan during these stressful days.

The satellite nations were growing even more restless, and they both knew it.

The Union was collapsing.


	3. Part Three: The Collapse

One night, Matthew was laid out next to Ivan on his bed while Ivan read aloud from _Anna Karenina_. It was very relaxing, even if some of the passages (or perhaps most of them) seemed to go on forever.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and a panicked voice. “Mr. Russia?”

Ivan sighed, setting the book down. Matthew stood up with him, and when Ivan answered the door, they both saw Latvia standing there, his entire body shaking in fear.

Latvia spoke. "Mr. Russia, please don't hurt me! I tried to stop him, but I couldn't!" His tone was panicked, and he was almost hysterical.

"What has happened?" Ivan asked, concerned, but Matthew also noted that his voice had suddenly grown tight, as though he were about to snap.

"Lithuania has left. He took all his clothes, and he went home. His old home!"

Matthew watched Ivan stiffen, and then run downstairs. Matthew dashed behind him, trying to keep up.

Ukraine sat sobbing, and Belarus simply stared out the window. Estonia sat quivering in a corner. Ivan surveyed the scene for a moment, and then turned to Natalia. "Is it true?"

She nodded.

Ivan turned around, and dashed back up the stairs. Matthew followed, scared and confused, and wondered what he was about to witness.

He watched Ivan reach the door, and he practically kicked it down.

The dresser drawers were empty, the bed bare.

Ivan snarled, and then he flipped the dresser over, tearing the photos down that Lithuania had kept over the years. He screamed into the mattress and then ripped the fabric to shreds. He then punched the glass of the framed map, instantly shattering it.

"Ivan!" Matthew shouted, suddenly panicking as well.

Ivan's hand was bleeding, and he reached in, grabbing the map, and ripping it to shreds, ignoring the shards of glass in his hands.

"Ivan, stop! You're bleeding!" Matthew begged.

Ivan froze at the shout. He turned, and then stared at Matthew. "I... I... he was my friend, Matvey." He spoke, sounding as heartbroken as a child himself.

Matthew shook his head. "No, he was scared of you."

"Are they all scared of me? Are none of them my friends?" Ivan said, and when he looked at Matthew, Matthew wanted to tell him no, to comfort him, but he knew that that would just make the hurt worse later. And besides, Ivan knew the answer. The lie would only justify his anger.

"Yes, except for your sisters. They often get angry at you, but they love you. But if Ukraine decides to go, I think Belarus will go with her."

"Are you scared of me, Matvey?"

Matthew paused, and thought very carefully before replying. "Sometimes you scare me a little, but I know you don't mean to, so I don't hold it against you. But you've scared them much worse than me so many times that they don't know what to do anymore."

Ivan nodded, and then stood and headed upstairs, presumably to his room. Matthew listened, and then he heard the slam of the door.

He walked back downstairs, and then he heard Ukraine talking to the others.

_"He's a ticking time bomb now. If you two decide to go, you need to do so now. He won't hurt us like he will you."_

The two Baltics looked at the two sisters with fear, and then nodded. "Raivis, go pack. I'll make food for us." Estonia ordered.

"Okay." Latvia replied, and then headed up the stairs to do as asked.

Matthew watched the Baltics prepare to flee, and then he watched them run out the door and disappear into the snow while Belarus and Ukraine watched from the window. They didn’t realize it, but Matthew was right next to them, watching the two figures fade into the distance with them. Finally, they headed to bed. But Matthew stayed in the living room, looking out at the distant horizon.

_The USSR collapses._

Then he turned and headed to his own room. He couldn’t stand here all night. Someone needed him more.

 

Ivan was laying on his bed when he heard the door creak open.

He turned and saw his older sister.

"Eduard and Raivis left as well." She finally said after a few moments of silence.

" _Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol_..." Ivan muttered, rolling back over and ignoring her.

She started towards him, and reached out to touch his shoulder. "Vanya..."

"Vy sobirayetes' ostavit', a, starshaya sestra?" _Are you going to leave as well, big sister?_

"Nyet. Not for a while. You need me right now."

He sighed. "Then you will just leave eventually."

She sighed right back at him. "Goodnight, brother."

The door closed and Ivan wanted to cry. He didn't know what to do.

But soon it opened again. He turned to see Canada.

“I’m sorry, Ivan.”

Russia said nothing, and then Canada lay down and came towards him.

“Thank you, Matvey.” He heard himself whisper as he wrapped his arms around the young man.

“There’s no reason to thank me.”

Russia shook his head. “No, there is every reason to thank you. I do not deserve your care.”

He buried his face in the blond curls of his fellow Arctic nation, and let sleep take him.

 

_I do not deserve your care._

There were plenty of reasons Matthew might have been able to agree with that statement. He saw the way Ivan nearly destroyed his punching bags. He had seen the marks left on Lithuania. And from what he understood, that was restraint.

But Ivan was the first nation who had ever seen him, and he had cared.

He had treated Matthew strangely at first, but eventually they had grown a soft fondness for each other. Now they were dancing on the edge of a blade.

The question was if he would fall. And if he did, would Matthew let him take him with him?

 

The next few weeks were spent in long periods of silence followed by short periods of drunken rage. Ivan drank heavy amounts of vodka, either lashing out or simply withdrawing from the company of everyone else, and Matthew watched Belarus and Ukraine begin to get ready to leave. There was nothing they could do for him if he wouldn't listen to them, and even Matthew began to feel some of the strain pulling at him.

Finally, Matthew went into Ivan's room one night, tired of this. He would confront him if he could.

Ivan was drunk as hell, and he whirled. _"What do you want, Fredka? Here to torment me with the past?"_ He shouted in Russian. Matthew had picked up a fair amount of Russian over the past few months, but it was so slurred that he wasn't sure what the Russian was trying to tell him.

"Out, America! Are you deaf?" He finally shouted in plain English.

"I'm not Alfred. I'm Matthew." Canada replied, realizing there was no point in trying to confront him at the moment.

Ivan shook his head, angry and impatient. "Just get out, Fredka. I push, you pull. It never stops. Go away."

Matthew left the room and waited, and once Ivan was asleep, he returned. He crawled under the covers and curled up next to Ivan, sighing as he stroked his hair. He stopped the silent thought that tried to cross his mind.

_He only loves you because you remind him of Alfred._

He pressed his face into the broad expanse of the Russian’s back, sighing as he allowed himself to drift into a world of sleep.

 

Ivan woke up to feel someone next to him. Years of living with Belarus had taught him to always worry when you didn't remember inviting someone into your bed the night before. He looked down, and was glad to see a set of dark violet eyes on a head crowned with gold curls looking up at him. He had awoken the smaller nation with his movement,

"Matvey, what are you doing here?" He finally said, groggy. The hangover was not pleasant.

"Because you're here, and you're upset and alone, and no one ought to be alone when they feel like this. I've been alone for far too long, so I know." He whispered.

Ivan sighed, and then started to stroke Matthew's hair. Matthew reached up and did the same.

Then Ivan fell back asleep, but this time it was his head against Matthew's chest.

 

When Ivan woke up again, Matvey had brought him food. Pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup.

"This is my favorite comfort food, so I made it for you."

Ivan sat up, and Matthew set the pancakes down his desk, which he'd cleared the paperwork off of.

Ivan finally walked over to the desk and ate his pancakes. He wanted to enjoy the food, but it was hard with the worrisome settling into the bottom of his stomach.

Matthew took the plates, and then came right back. "I'm going to stay with you for as long as I can, Ivan." He said, reaching over and taking Ivan's hands in his own.

Ivan nodded. "Are Sofia and Natalia still here?" He managed to ask after a few minutes.

"Yes, but they are almost entirely packed and ready to leave."

Ivan nodded, and then leaned back, placing his head on Matthew's chest. "Please stay with me, Matvey. I don't know what I can do without you here."

Matthew lead Ivan to the bed, and then they cuddled, enjoying the intimacy and ignoring the pain they felt. Soon, though, pain was forgotten so they could enjoy a moment of bliss.

Matthew nuzzled Ivan's neck through his scarf, happy that after all these years, there was someone who could see him and care about him.

Then he felt Ivan's hands tilting his head up.

"Ivan..." He started, a little surprised.

Ivan pressed his fingers to Matthew's lips to silence him. Matthew lay there, silent. Ivan's hands reached up and stroked the side of his face, fingers trailing down his neck. When he had first seen Ivan, he never would have guessed that this giant of a man could be so gentle.

Finally Ivan leaned in close, and his eyes asked the question that both had kept silent for months.

Matthew nodded. There was no need for clarification.

Ivan's lips met his. The kiss was soft.

Matthew allow Ivan to guide him, and soon the kisses became deeper and deeper, more passionate. When they finally pulled apart, Matthew realized that they were both quietly panting, their faces flushed in the dim light. It was more than he ever thought he might be able to have. But suddenly a wave of worry swept over him. What if he did something that could ruin this forever?

"Ivan...I don't know... what do I do?" He finally said.

"We don't have to do everything. I don't want to hurt you" Ivan's hands were gentle, and then he carefully pulled Matthew into his arms. "I'm content with this, Matvey."

Matvey shook his head. "I want to go further, but I've just never done anything like this with another nation, and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin it."

Ivan lifted his head up so their gazes would meet. "There is nothing you could get wrong that would make me leave you, Matvey. It's okay to stop at any time or to go no further than this. Just guide my hands when you're ready, if you want to go any further."

After a few more minutes cuddling, Matthew took Ivan's hand and slid it under his shirt.

He felt Ivan's hands pulling at his shirt, and then carefully take it off. Matthew turned so he could finish wriggling out of it, and Ivan began to pull off his own shirt. There was a soft thud as two shirts were tossed to the floor.

They stared at each other, shirtless and silent, admiring and pitying the other.

Matthew reached out, touching the older Nation's scars. There were so many, on his stomach, his chest, his shoulders. All across his body, there were scars.

Ivan touched one of Matthew's scars, which were few in number compared to the Russian. "What happened?" He asked, touching one of the largest by far.

"The War of 1812. Alfred burned my capital down."

The sunburst scar right over his heart was gently touched.

"If I had known you existed, I would have tried to stop him."

"It wouldn't have done anything. Besides, no justice is needed. Al has one exactly like this."

"The burning of Washington DC?"

"I was there with the troops, not that they knew that, but I was there."

Ivan didn't ask about any of Matthew's other scars and Matthew didn't ask Ivan about any of his, afraid that it might upset Ivan. After a while, when he had his head pressed back against Ivan's chest, he felt Ivan move and then heard him set something down.

He looked up and then he realized Ivan had set his scarf down on the nightstand.

He reached out, tracing the scars along Ivan's neck, and Matthew wondered how he had survived whatever caused this. Now he understood why the Russian never took his scarf off. Ivan leaned back, and despite the scars, Matthew could tell he was content, almost purring.

Ivan suddenly reached up and gently ran his hands down Matthew's sides, and up and over his chest, and then down his back.

"Ivan?" Matthew managed to say. It felt so good.

"Yes?"

"Will you... lead?"

"Da, Matvey, but only where you let me."

Matthew nodded.

Ivan rolled him over onto his back, and then straddled him, his hands running all down Matthew's body, but only above the waistband. He leaned down, placing small kisses all over his torso, and then kissing him on the mouth, his hands still moving. His fingers pinched and pulled at Matthew's nipples, and Matthew felt his whole body shake, and he groaned right into Ivan's mouth. He reached up, running his hands down Ivan's back, and from the small noise Ivan made, it felt just as good to him as it had for Matthew.

Then he paused, and took one of Ivan's hands, guiding it down and placing it over the bulge in his pants.  
"Matvey..."

"I'm ready."

Ivan slowly unbuttoned Matthew's pants, and then his hand reached in, still over the underwear, and he took a hold of his erection, stroking gently.

Matthew tilted his head back, moaning, unsure what noise exactly had just come out of him. But it made Ivan respond, and soon they were pressed together, their bodies entangled in an ancient dance.

At some point, Matthew's pants had come off completely, and Ivan's were near his knees. Bare skin to bare skin. Electric currents were coursing up both of their bodies.

Matthew finally grew impatient, and slid Ivan's hand under the waistband of his boxers. He needed to feel skin, not fabric.

The rest of Ivan's clothes hit the ground, including his boxers as well.

Their bodies were flushed with heat, and Matthew was so scared, but it wasn't a bad fear. It was a good one. He could trust Ivan.

"Matvey, how far do you want to go?" Ivan finally asked, leaning into the younger nations as they slowly rubbed their hips together.

"All the way." He replied

Ivan nodded, and reaching over, pulled something out of his nightstand. "Relax. This is going to help."

Matthew did as he was told, and then he felt the oiled fingertip reaching inside him. He let out a soft noise of mixed pain and pleasure. Ivan continued, slowly, and then he brushed a spot that made Matthew jump, and he let out a small squeak.

"Matvey?!"

"No, keep going, Vanya."

Ivan seemed a little reluctant after that response, but he kept going, and soon he added a second finger

Matthew moved so that his fingers were all the way into him.

"Matvey, be careful. You will hurt yourself." The Russian muttered.

"Then it'll be my fault, not yours." The Canadian replied.

Ivan leaned over and kissed him. "Let me guide you if you're so determined. I don't want you to be in pain your first time."

Matthew sighed, and then Ivan put a third finger in.

Matthew pulled Ivan closer, and put a well placed nip on Ivan's shoulder. The Russian barely twitched, but the sound he made was enough. Matthew sucked on it, Just because he'd never done this before didn't mean he hadn't read about it.

When he leaned back just a little, he saw the small bruise forming on Ivan's shoulder.

Mine. He thought.

Then he could feel Ivan's hand moving, just barely brushing up against that spot. He tried to lean into it, but Ivan was keeping him well pinned. He moaned.

Finally, Ivan took his hand out. "Are you ready?"

Matthew reached up and brushed Ivan's hair out of his eyes.

"Da. Ya lyublyu tebya, Vanya."

Ivan froze for a moment, startled by the Russian, but then his mouth pulled up at the corners into a huge smile. A genuine smile, not scary or terrifying in any way.

"Je t'aime aussi, Matvey." He replied in French.

Then Ivan was entering him, and Matthew grabbed him, holding on tightly, crying out in noises he'd never heard himself make, biting at Ivan's shoulder, kissing Ivan on the mouth, running his hands down Ivan's back. Ivan moved slowly at first, but soon he picked up speed, and Matthew lost himself in the moment.

Finally, he felt Ivan's hands clutching at his back the same way he was.

"Close." Matthew muttered.

"Same." Ivan replied.

Hips rocking, bodies slamming into each other as fast as they could.

Matthew felt his whole body tense, and then a familiar sensation build up in his body. He took a deep breath, and then felt the scream escape him. "IVAN!"

Ivan's body tensed and then he snarled, pulling Matthew as close as he could. "Matvey!"

They came, and then they lay together, not wanting to move. For a few moments, they simply held each other close, and looked into the other's eyes.

"Please say it again." Ivan finally said, breaking the silence.

"Ya lyublyu tebya."

Ivan smiled and then the two of them pulled apart. Matthew turned, and pressed his back against Ivan's chest, but then turned and kissed him. "Hold me?"

"Da, anything for you, Matvey."

Ivan held him close for the entire night. And strangely enough, he wasn't bothered by Matthew having his back to him. It felt...right.

Once Matthew was asleep, Ivan whispered to him.

"I will find a way so that the rest of them can see you, my Matvey. I want you to be able to talk to the others as well, and be known in the world. You deserve everything you want."

Matthew's face smiled a little in his sleep.

"Ya lyublyu tebya." Ivan whispered, brushing his lips against his lover's cheek.

And then Ivan fell asleep as well, and despite the rest of the world around him, for a while, he was able to just focus on the small piece of paradise in front of him.

 

Matthew and Ivan awoke to an empty house. Russia knew it the instant he awoke, dressing in a thin shirt and pair of pants before wandering out to look around, Canada at his side with his hand tightly clasped in his.

Belarus and Ukraine had emptied their rooms, and the doors were left open as though to show that they weren't planning on coming back. But the statement was enough.

His own sisters had left. It was over.

Ivan didn't destroy their rooms. He sat in silence most of that day, while Matthew cooked for him, and hid all the vodka he found. He didn't want to be the only person in the house if Ivan got drunk.

They didn't do it again that night, they just held each other close. It was what they needed at that moment. Matthew watched Ivan sleep with a sad happiness. He was glad he seemed okay, but he could also tell that the other was in pain, which made him hurt too.

_France was right when he said that love can bring pain. I wish I could take it all away from you, my dear one._

 

A few months later, Ivan put up two new door signs while Matthew went home for the first time in nearly a year to deal with his own business.

His own door now read

_Россия (Russia)_

_Иван (Ivan)_

He turned, and then put the new sign on the door across from him.

_Canada_

_Matthew Williams_


	4. Part Four: Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, emotions ahead at the end of the chapter! I will be posting the final chapter later tonight (though it might be tomorrow for some of you). The next chapter will be pretty short in comparison to the rest, but it's main goal is to wrap things up. Anyhow, hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Canada returned from Ivan's house and Kuma hit him square in the chest with a leap that probably would have killed a normal human.

"Do you have any idea how long you've been gone?" The polar bear demanded. "It's been nearly a year, you Maple!"

"Kuma! Watch you mouth!" Matthew said, surprised at the foul language, and also by the amount of words being used. Kuma was rarely talkative.

"I think I have a right to be angry." Kuma snarled. "My friend goes off and disappears for a whole year during a huge world event, and I have no way to help him. All I can hope is that he's still alive."

"What huge world event?" Matthew asked. He'd read the paper every day at Ivan's house. Had there been something he missed?

"Did you live under a rock? The USSR has collapsed." Kuma replied.

"Oh. That."

Kuma paused. "You don't seem terribly shocked, so I guess you didn't live under a rock while you were gone."

"No. Kuma, I was there."

Kuma paused and then looked him over once again. "And how are you still alive?" He finally asked.

"Russia can see me, Kuma." Matthew said, excitement in his voice.

"Then I repeat the question. Did he kidnap you? How did you escape?" Kuma’s tone was starting to remind him of his boss, and he groaned inwardly at the thought. His boss had probably brought Kuma back home. That would also explain why the bear himself was so upset.

"I wasn't a prisoner, Kuma. I went there at his invitation, and he told me I could go whenever I wanted too. He was so nice to me. He wasn't cruel at all."

Kuma paused, almost scanning him before speaking again. "You miss him?"

Matthew didn't look his friend in the eyes.

"That's enough of an answer. Now I know why it took you so long to come back. How does he feel on the matter?" The bear asked.

"He loves me back." Matthew stated, whisper quiet, afraid that if he said it too loud, he might wake up and discover it had all just been a dream.

Kuma paused and then leapt up into Matthew's lap. "If he hurts you, I'm ripping out his throat, okay?" The bear stated.

"I suppose that's better than you just doing it because you can." Then he hugged Kuma hard.

"I guess that's the beginning of an apology, you Maple." Kuma said, and then ruffled the Canadian's hair with one of his giant paws.

 

England didn't like the man in front of him, nor did he like what the man had just told him.

"An invisible Nation that represents Canada? Are you sure?"

"Da. He was the one to switch the folders at the last conference, tie the Vargas brothers hair together, and switch your tea with Alfred's coffee. I didn't believe it at first, either."

"Okay, thanks for the information about the damn bloody prankster." Arthur stated, annoyed. "And why should I help him?"

"Both you and France took care of him, and settled his lands. Why didn't you see him?! He has been alone since he was born. He sees us, he knows he's like us, but no one can see him or talk to him except for me, and I don't know why!"

England sipped at his tea, watching the Russian with a knowing eye. That tone had betrayed everything. It had been the same tone Russia had once reserved for America, shouting at England and France to join him in supporting nothing less than American reunification.

"He means a lot to you, huh?" He finally asked.

Silence.

"I thought so.” England sighed, reaching for a notepad. “Let me look at my books. There might be a way to help him, but if there is, I don't know it off the top of my head, so you'll have to give me time."

"The next world conference."

"That's just three weeks away!" England shouted at him in shock.

"Then you should get cracking, I believe that is the phrase." Then Russia flashed him a grin before exiting.

Arthur waited until Ivan was gone to swear. "Bloody hell, you're one cat that ate far too many fucking canaries."

 

Matthew planned to go to the world conference, and promised Kuma that he'd return home afterwards, and call him if something came up that might keep him for extra time. (Matthew doesn't know how the polar bear is going to be able to answer the phone, but he doesn't inquire either.)

Ivan's plane landed, and Matthew brought him to his house for a night.

Kuma watched Ivan with distrust, and Ivan gave him the same look back.

Matthew got tired of this staredown after a while and finally spoke. "If you two keep doing that, I with throw pancakes at your faces."

Kuma huffs indignantly until Matthew presents him with a bowl of meat, and then he serves Ivan the borscht he's been planning to make for a while.

Ivan tastes it and smiles. "It's almost exactly the same as when Sofia makes it."

"I watched her, but she adds things so fast I think I missed a few spices."

Ivan shrugged, and ate his whole bowl, and even took seconds.

Then he looked at Matthew. Since he started eating regularly under Ivan's eyes, he'd grown healthier. Ivan supposed that staying in a place where he didn't have to steal food from his brother had been good for him.

"So, Matvey, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." He said, once dinner was done and they had washed the dishes.

"Oui?"

"I talked to England after you left, and he thinks there might be a way we can make you visible to everyone else. Would you like that?"

Matthew sat there in shock for a moment, and then suddenly beamed. "Really? There's a way he could do that?!"

"Da. He has very strong magic."

Matthew turned in excitement towards his bear. "Kuma, did you hear that?!"

Kuma nodded.

"Will he be able to do it at the World Conference?" Matthew said, almost jumping up and down with joy.

"I don't know for sure, but he will try."

Matthew was grinning ear to ear, running around like how he did after a hockey match. "Yes! Yes!" He shouted as he did circles around the dining table.

Ivan smiled, and started to stand up, but in a second Matvey was in his lap. "Ya lyublyu tebya!" He shouted, and then pressed his lips down onto Ivan's.

Kuma wandered off at that point, muttering something about lovebirds needing to build a maple nest, and Ivan got the feeling that it was being used as a curse word again.

Matthew was so happy that he didn't sleep at all that night, and finally Ivan had to tell him to shut up so _he_ could get some sleep.

The next morning, he was awakened by a huge stack of pancakes being shoved into his face. "Come on, let's eat and get going! I know you're going to spend the whole flight with your nose in a book, so the sooner we get there, the better!"

"Matthew, it's literally a three hour flight." Ivan stated, rubbing his eyes.

"I know, but I want to meet England and ask him if he can help me."

"And I have to be conscious enough to translate for you, so let me eat my breakfast, okay?"

Matthew pouted at that.

"I'm not a morning person, Matvey, and the time difference is extremely unpleasant. Just give me a few minutes."

"Okay." He said, suddenly cheerful again, and he ran off, leaving breakfast on a small tray next to the bed.

 _He's almost exactly like Alfred sometimes._ Ivan thought for a moment.

Ivan silenced that thought. _Matthew is not Alfred. He is a completely different person._

Which is why he guesses he fell in love with Matthew.

They reach the airport. Usually when the conference was in America, Ivan flew to Cuba for a brief visit, then to Mexico, then into the US. (No direct flights allowed for Communist countries.) But it didn't matter now. The USSR was gone. His siblings and the Baltics would be at the conference, representing themselves, and he will fly to Canada and visit his boyfriend briefly before the conference if he goddamn wants to.

The plane took off, and Ivan read. He'd been discovering a lot of new books lately, with a heavy amount of the censorship gone. Matthew excitedly bounced, occasionally calling out the names of places he recognized as they flew over. It seemed that Matthew spent as much time in his brother's country as he had in his own.

The plane finally landed. (Matthew clung to him during the landing for some reason). There, they found a car already waiting for them.

Ivan loaded the bags into the trunk, and the driver commented that Ivan seems to have a lot of luggage for one man. Looking up, Ivan decided to see if this man was simply am foolish civilian or an American agent.

"Perhaps I am smuggling weapons." Ivan said, and then flashed the man a far too cheery smile. The driver didn't laugh, and instead eyed the bags with extra concern as Ivan loaded them into the trunk.

_Ah. Civilian._

 

They reached the hotel, and Matthew looked pitifully sad when someone informed Ivan that England won't be arriving until tomorrow. Ivan shook his head with a slight chuckle at Matthew’s exasperated huff and then they headed up to find their room.

No one else had been placed in the nearby rooms, most likely by request. China didn't like him, and Cuba wasn't really fond of him either.

Matthew just shrugged, and helped Ivan unpack his things. "We'll just have the run of the place in this hall then." He said, smiling as he opened up a phone book to chose a restaurant to order from.

They had just sat down to eat their takeout when there was a knock at the door.

Ivan answered, suspecting it might be an assistant to tell him about a meeting he might need to attend.

Instead he was facing the last person he wanted to see at that very moment. He stepped back to shut the door, but America’s arm caught him. It was last year in reverse.

"Ivan..." Alfred started

"Go away, Amerika." Ivan said.

"Ivan, I regret what I said last year. If I'd known it would have only been another year..." He said, trying again.

"Leave!"

"No, damnit!" The boisterous Nation shouted. And then Alfred grabbed Ivan's scarf and pulled him down to kiss him. Matthew stared, shocked and surprised.

But Ivan shoved him away. "You made it clear how you felt, and it is no longer possible between us! Leave me alone!" That voice was full of venom, and Matthew was shocked at the way he spoke like a wounded dog.

Al looked up, hurt himself. "You've moved on?"

Ivan nodded. "It had been years since we could even speak, Amerika. When you said that last year, I knew it was over then. Now please leave. My dinner is going cold."

Matthew watched Al turn and run, and then Ivan came back, unhappy.

"What happened between you two?" He asked, tired of not knowing their past.

"Please don't ask, Matvey. I am tired of telling that story." Ivan replied, and his tone of voice made it clear that continuing the conversation could lead to a fit of rage.

Matthew frowned, and then ate his pizza. It was American style, with lots of cheese and meat and god knows what else on it, but it was comfort food and something he knew Ivan wouldn't steal out of the mini fridge and eat.

The two men tried to sleep curled up together, but finally they realized that it wasn't going to work. Ivan was too angry at Al, and Matthew was annoyed with Ivan.

In separate beds, they fell asleep, but that particular night of sleep was not as restful as it could have been.

 

England arranged a private meeting with Russia as soon as he had arrived. America had been miffed by that, but England had managed to make some lie about his boss forcing him to do this right away. Not that he told Alfred what _this_ was.

Russia walked into the small private conference room and gave England one of those smiles that made him want to run for the hills. "Can you do it?" He said, and England noticed it seemed like his hand was wrapped around thin air. Clearly the spirit-like nation was with him.

"Yes, but we'll have to find somewhere private. America bursting in would not be good for any of us, and he's always more obnoxious than normal when he's hosting." England said, squinting at the air where this nation must be.

Matthew tugged at Ivan's sleeves, ignoring England’s attempts to see him. "I know a good place. And trust me, he won't go down there. He thinks it's worse than a horror movie.”

 

The lowest basement level of this hotel wasn't exactly what either Arthur or Ivan were imagining, especially given the eerie darkness of the place, but Matthew had been able to get them here, and it was quiet.

"I spent a whole month down here once. I could steal food from the kitchens, stay warm, and wash my clothes. And no one ever saw me!" Matthew said. “It wasn't actually that bad!”

Ivan stared at Matvey with shock. "You lived down here?"

"Would you at least say something like _'hey invisible guy'_ before you speak to him?"Arthur complained. "All I'm hearing is your side of the conversation, and it's kinda distracting."

The silent _And it makes me panic_ was left unsaid.

Once they found a big enough space of empty floor, the pair watched Arthur draw something on the middle of the floor, and then light candles. He placed them around the edge of the circle, and then spoke.

"Um, Canada, if you could stand at the center?"

Matthew moved into the inner circle, and then Ivan nodded once Matthew gave him the thumbs up. "He is ready."

"This spell cannot be redone. If it doesn't work, we'll have to try something else, and it could take a very long time." England began, looking between Russia and what appeared to be empty space.

"I understand." Matthew responded.

"He understands." Ivan stated so England would know his response.

"Okay. Here it goes." England said, and then opened up his ancient tome.

The chanting took quite a while, and Ivan watched Matthew stand there, looking at his hands, hoping and praying that it would work. He seemed to be stumbling a little, but kept a smile aimed at Ivan, who felt his concern.growing as Canada became more unsteady on his own two feet.

Then suddenly England shouted the last few words, and as Ivan watched Matthew hit the floor like a rock.

"MATVEY!" He shouted, running forward to try and help his lover.

England stopped him just before he breached the barrier of the circle. "Don't step inside the circle! The spell needs time to manifest, or it will just have been a waste of time."

Ivan watched, ready to dash in if anything else happened to his lover. Eventually, Matthew stood and looked at him. His eyes asked a simple question Ivan couldn't answer.

And then Ivan heard England gasp.

"You... you look like..." He managed to stumble before reverting to a state of simply blinking in shock.

Matthew smiled at Ivan with love and delight, and then turned to face England. "My name is Matthew Williams. Thank you for doing this for me."

 

Ivan showed up at the conference alone. The three of them all discussed it and decided it would be better if Ivan's ability to see Canada before the spell was kept secret. Actually, Ivan and Matthew discussed it and Arthur agreed while he tried to deal with the shock.

But when England arrived after America with a strange young man next to him, everyone fell silent.

Finally, America spoke. "Did someone make a clone of me?" He asked jokingly to break the silence that threatened to consume the room.

"My name is Matthew Williams." Canada interrupted. "I'm a Nation, like you. I represent the people of Canada.”

Loud talk raced through the crowd, and many people come up and began fawning over the Nation, including France, who was speaking fluent French with the young country and was giving Matthew a smile that made Ivan want to break all of France's pretty teeth.

He seemed to be the only one not reacting to Matthew's presence, and no one understood why, but then Arthur suggested very quietly that perhaps it's because his sisters and former satellites were in the crowd, and he might not want to bump into them. After all, it would be very awkward after everything that happened last year. Luckily, the others seemed to believe this, and Ivan politely waved to the new nation and then returned to looking at his notes.

Finally, between many stops and starts, Matthew managed to tell people how he'd just been invisible this whole time, and that he is alive, and yes, he is Alfred's brother, and yes, that is his ass and you'd better stop touching it, _France_!

Once the initial rush of excitement is over silence falls again, and then Canada settles down in a seat between Alfred and Arthur. Alfred is very excited by his new brother and can't stop grinning the whole time, even when someone insults him. Canada allows his ear to be talked off the whole time, glad that for the first time ever, his brother can see him.

But all Matthew can see as he looks down the table is the way that Ivan is suddenly digging his nails into the palm of his hand, as though he is trying to force himself to bleed.

 

Alfred gave Matthew his own room at the conference, and within ten minutes he wanted to sneak back upstairs into Ivan's room. Alfred is practically coming through the door every five minutes to talk to his 'little brother', and England is constantly popping in to see if the spell has really manifested as well as it should have. France is being a creepy stalker outside of his door, and Prussia has also taken an odd interest in him, and he's unclear whether or not he should be flattered.

Finally, he managed to call Ivan up from the phone in his room.

"Ivan." He says when he hears a soft Russian hello.

"Matvey. It's good to hear your voice again after earlier today."

"I can say the same. I want to come up and see you, but I've got far too many admirers outside of my door at the moment. I'm about to go crazy.”

"The other countries believe that I have not yet said hello. I could possibly slip down and scare them off?"

"This is why I love you, my big, scary Russian." Matthew chuckled.

"If I am the big scary one, what does that make you?" Ivan questioned, mocking extreme curiosity.

"The one that can be downright terrifying if he wants to." Matthew replied.

Ivan laughed a little, and then replied. "I will be right down."

"Alright."

 

The knock at his door made Matthew spring out of his chair and practically dance across the room to open it.

He saw the other countries scattered all around the hallway, milling about nervously in the presence of his lover. No one seemed sure what to do.

"My name is Russia. I was unable to introduce myself earlier."

"Please, come on in." Matthew said, barely able to keep the grin off his face.

 

The moment the door was closed, Matthew tackled Ivan, and managed to nearly throw him down onto the floor.

Ivan grinned, and the two play wrestled for a few moments before Matthew stood up and pulled Ivan to his feet.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have some _fun_..." Matthew said, the last word left open for Ivan's interpretation.

"Da, but we'd better be very quiet today, with so many ears outside the door, after all." The Russian responded, running his hand up Matthew’s cheek before running his hands through the Canadian’s hair.

 

A few minutes afterwards, Ivan pulls away from him, and reaches for his clothes.

"I should probably get going, Matvey. They will wonder what we are doing in here."

"No they won't. There's three hockey games on tonight. If we turn up the volume, they'll think we're watching that."

"Matvey..."

"Come on, Ivan. It'll be great. We haven't got to do anything like this since I left your house a few weeks back."

Ivan shook his head. "Nyet, Matvey." He stood up, and Matthew saw the scars on his back. He'd seen them before, but he never asked why they were there. Russia had participated in so many more wars than he had.

"Okay, but you have to promise me that I can visit you after the conference." Matthew said, disappointed he couldn't convince his lover to stay with him any longer. But he supposed he understood. After all, Russia wouldn't want to make it seem like they knew each other too well until it was time to reveal their secret to people.

"You may if you wish." Ivan said, and his tone of voice suddenly seemed detached. His whole body was stiffening, as though he had came across a horrible realization suddenly.

"Wait, what is that supposed to mean? Of course I'm going to come see you." Matthew said, confused and uneasy by the sudden change in Russia’s behavior.

Ivan pulled on his shirt. "You have many admirers now. Many would love to woo you or win you. You are young. You should see as much as you can while you can."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Matthew asked, the shock in his voice evident.

"I am telling you that there are better men than me." Russia replied, and in that moment, Matthew realized that for the first time when he wasn't drunk, Ivan was refusing to meet his gaze.

"Ivan, what the hell has happened?" Matthew said, his voice rising.

Silence. Then, Ivan spoke.

"I have always hurt the people I love, Matvey. Before, when you were with me, I was in such sorrow I managed to never hurt you. But I am not sure how long I can go without doing to you what I used to do to Lithuania and Prussia. Or hurting you by accident, like I did to some of the others."

"And what did you do, exactly?" Matthew asked. "I've seen scratches and bruises, and if that's the worst of it, I'll live, because I understand you can't always stop yourself from flying into a rage. And you never did hurt me like that

"I've done much worse than you think me capable of, Matvey. Things that will make you never want to come back to my bed."

Matthew softened his voice and stepped towards Russia. "Ivan, what did you do?"

Ivan sighed. "You only need to ask them."

And with that, he grabbed his scarf and left.

Matthew hugged the pillow on his bed, and soon he found himself crying, shaking and unsure what to do.

 

Ivan woke up to the emptiness of his room.

It was the last day of the conference, and he knew that the truth was coming out today.

Canada watched him enter the room, and there was immense pain in those eyes. They seemed to say _How could you?_

He had seen Matvey and Gilbert slip out to a bar last night, and he knew Canada would see the scars. The words he had carved on Prussia’s back long ago, not in a fit of rage, but in a fit of lust.

_Собственность Ивана  
_

_Property of Ivan_


	5. Part Five: I Will Never Stop Loving You

A year passes, another world conference comes, and this year, a “new” northern Nation is in attendance, his polar bear by his side.

Canada arrives and a few people greet him. He smiles kindly at them. He's had so many visitors to his home the past year that it's all starting to blur, and he's really struck up a friendship with Prussia. He thinks Prussia might want a bit more than friendship, but for now, he thinks they should just be friends.

He sees his brother arrive in a crown of American glory, laughing about something totally random. Matthew tries to slip away. He loves his brother dearly, but the number of times Alfred has talked his ear off during the last year.

"Matthew! You have to hear the joke Tony told me earlier today!" He says the second he sees Matthew just ahead of him in the lobby.

Matthew sighs, nods, and turns around to listen to his brother. Kuma plops down, knowing that if it's Alfred, they'll be here forever.

They stand there so long that several of the other countries arrive, including England and France, and when those two combine with Alfred, Matthew just has to pray someone will rescue him. Eventually England and France are dragged apart from each other, and Matthew is still standing in the lobby listening to Alfred, who seems to never run out of words ever.

Then he sees the tall figure enter the room, coat trailing behind him, and the temperature noticeably dropping as he passes by.

Conversations freeze as he walks through the room to the desk, and everyone waits until he's upstairs to speak again. He gives them a glance, and then disappears into the elevator.

"Damn Commie bastard. He still scares the shit out of everyone." Al muttered once he was gone.

"He's not that scary, is he?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, not really, if you're his equal. But if he sees you as any less than him, he'll crunch you under his boot."

Matthew pauses, and asks the question he's been dying to ask for the past two years. "Alfred, what’s your past with him? Before the Cold War?"

Alfred looks around. "Let's not talk about it here, okay. Meet me in my room in five minutes."

And then Alfred takes off, and Canada follows.

 

Matthew sits and listens to Alfred speak.

"He went home early during the Great War because of the revolutions. I managed to keep in contact with him until Stalin took power. And then, he told me to leave his life, that it was too dangerous for the world to know we loved each other. I promised I'd wait for him, but he just got nastier and nastier, and then I saw what happened to Gilbert, and I couldn't stand the idea of being with him anymore."

_But you came to his room that night. Were you just lonely?_

"He never did anything like that to you, though. Why not?"

"I don't know. I think it's because I loved him back. They were just scared of him, so he'd force them, and hurt them. But he never did it to me. Not that he didn't hurt me occasionally. We exchanged blows a few times before the Great War, but not unlike anything Nations don’t do to each other on occasion."

They sat in silence for a while, Canada trying to absorb the information.

"Matthew, why do you want to know all of this?" Al asked, rubbing the back of his head, uneasy. Nations didn't usually talk about their pasts this much. It could bring a lot of old pain to the surface and make it feel brand new.

Matthew took a deep breath before responding. "Before you or anyone else could see me, I lived with him for a while. He could see me when no one else could. Neither of us understood it, and really, I don't think I can say I understand it even now."

Alfred stared at his brother in shock, but Matthew continued, knowing if Al interrupted him, he'd never be able to say everything he needed to say.

"His house is huge, and he'd built rooms for every Nation on earth. He'd placed his sisters and himself on the top floor, along with one other Nation. You. I didn't understand it at first. You were his main enemy. Why would he give you one of the best rooms in the entire house, and why would he place it right across from his own?"

"But I think I understand it now. He loved you, and you loved him back. That was why you had a room on the top floor. You were someone he truly loved, a person he'd never want to hurt, because you loved him too.”

Alfred paused. "So he still loves me?" He asked, his voice sounding a little strange.

"I don't know." Canada replied, but he was wondering about something else entirely.

 

Ivan was first startled, and then angry when he found a polar bear in his hotel room, flopped across the bed like he owned it.

"Kuma, go home!" He snapped as he reached for a bottle of vodka he had shoved in the fridge upon his arrival.

"No. Matthew's coming to talk to you, and I am to make sure you let him in." The bear replied, and then he snapped at Ivan. "And absolutely NO vodka!"

Ivan sighed, and decided that he'd listen to the bear for a little bit if just to humor him, putting the vodka away. Soon enough he heard the knock at his door. He opened it up, and Matthew entered, and he looked angry.

Before Ivan could get a word in edgewise, Matthew started speaking.

"Ivan let me tell you something! I love you, okay? And I've seen what you did to Gilbert and Toris. And I know you won't do that to me!"

"There is no guarantee, Matvey!" Ivan snapped, tired of having this argument.

"You let me live in the top floor with you! The top floor, where only the people you saw as your equals or loved ones were allowed to stay, because you could never hurt them!" Canada shouted.

Ivan shook his head. "Leave, Matvey!"

"Nyet! If you ever try to hurt me, I'll stop you! But you're hurting me more by refusing to listen to me!"

They fell into silence, both almost panting at the efforts this was taking on them.

"When I said those three words to you, you responded. Ya lyublya tebya, Ivan! And I will never stop feeling that way. You saved me from being alone forever, you stopped hurting people because I asked you to! That's why you didn't beat Estonia for ruining our dinner, or Latvia for accidentally destroying your shirt. Because I asked you too! Ya lyublyu tebya, Vanya!"

Ivan stood there, the noise ringing in his ears. This had not been what he had expected.

"Even after you've seen what I did?" He asked, feeling like his heart was about to snap.

"Da. I ya nikogda ne perestanu lyubit' tebya."

_Yes. And I will never stop loving you._

"Matvey…”

Ivan pulled him close, and for the first time in years, he felt tears fall from his eyes, freezing and almost looking like snowflakes in Matthew's hair. Matthew was shaking as well, his tears soaking through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Ya lyublyu tebya, Vanya." Matthew whispered, his arms tightening around Ivan’s chest.

"Je suis désolé, Matthew. Je ne voulais pas te faire de mal. Pouvez-vous me pardonner?" _I'm sorry, Matthew. I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?_

"I already have." Matthew half sobbed.

When Matthew asked, Kuma left, and the two men held each other close, crying into each other's bodies, clinging together like two survivors of a shipwreck. But they had found their island in each other.

At last, they had someone who cared.

 

The next day, they arrived at the conference together. Alfred was surprised to see them, smiling and laughing.

He watched Matthew talk, his Russian almost perfect. Ivan would sometimes even respond in French.

_Ah. That's why he was so curious._

Alfred shrugged away the sight, and then looks across the table, seeing the others who are together.

The always bickering England and France.

Strong Germany and cowering Italy.

Weak, artist Austria, and strong Hungary who wouldn't take shit from no man.

He saw the way that Ivan acted, and it was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. Ivan was gentle with Matthew, his voice soft. Even when Al had been with him, there were nights where the two would part, limping and angry.

There was no sign of that unspoken rage in Ivan's eyes anymore. It had been replaced with another emotion.

Love.

_You finally have a reason to live. A reason to be happy. A reason to cling to life with all the pain it brings you, and that reason is him._

As they sat down together, Canada was smiling with joy as he leaned on the larger man just a little.

Alfred was happy for them.

He really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have all enjoyed this beautiful roller coaster and I looked forward to writing even more RusCan in the future.


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